dancer, dreamer, learner, believer

I am an aspiring professional ballet dancer. I love the learning process of ballet and how you always have something more to work for. I believe that if one has a dream and the drive, they simply must go for it.

Society cannot tell me that the body God gave me is not beautiful.

I can’t do this anymore. I know I need to work on some ways I take care of myself both physically and mentally, but I must face the facts and find some way to be happy. I’m so tired of being upset all the time about a body that God gave me- wanting to change it all to look like someone else God did not intend for me to be. I do not have a short torso or long legs, I do not have an extremely long neck or fingers, and I do not have a flat chest to make that waify line. A long-limbed ballerina makes beautiful lines to see, but that does not mean that I can not offer just as much beauty. I’m tired of tormenting myself to do what I think would make me happy, when in the end it is a facade that betrays me because that image will never be ME.

Any suggested OCD coping mechanisms?

I’ve never requested this before, but I’m having an OCD moment right now trying to work on my study guides for finals, and I really need to do them for extra credit to keep my A’s in my classes. Please, any suggested tactics/coping mechanisms would be so helpful, something new I could just try; that sometimes helps to try something new.

Thank you thank you thank you

How I’m feeling tonight. I thought I was on a track to ultimate health last night when I made my goal sheets and inspirational collages. But I’ve already hit a bump in the road by binging on sweets (particularly my many last bites of my grandmother’s peach cobbler left over from Easter— I was hoping she’d take them home with her). And then, I did something that I knew was wrong- I purged while I was in the shower- I am very disappointed in myself and though I somewhat feel relieved of my binge now I still mostly just have that deep feeling of being ashamed.”Why? Why did you do it? I mean the binging and then the purging. It does you no good!” But I will be optimistic and consider it just a bump that I must resist next time. Tomorrow is a new day. Though I don’t feel like saying it right now, I’ll say it just to hopefully carve it into my subconcious- Everything will be ok. You are on a road to improving to an ultimate healthy lifestyle.

How I’m feeling tonight. I thought I was on a track to ultimate health last night when I made my goal sheets and inspirational collages. But I’ve already hit a bump in the road by binging on sweets (particularly my many last bites of my grandmother’s peach cobbler left over from Easter— I was hoping she’d take them home with her). And then, I did something that I knew was wrong- I purged while I was in the shower- I am very disappointed in myself and though I somewhat feel relieved of my binge now I still mostly just have that deep feeling of being ashamed.”Why? Why did you do it? I mean the binging and then the purging. It does you no good!”

But I will be optimistic and consider it just a bump that I must resist next time. Tomorrow is a new day. Though I don’t feel like saying it right now, I’ll say it just to hopefully carve it into my subconcious- Everything will be ok. You are on a road to improving to an ultimate healthy lifestyle.

(Source: sh1ver, via pleasesmilebeautiful)

Reasons Why I Will Lose 5 Pounds

1. So I don’t have to diet in the summer and can go to my summer program feeling good about myself and be in my peak condition.

2. So I can feel carefree.

3. So I can put on my tights and leotard with confidence and look in the mirror with confidence.

4. So my body will look in peak condition for recital.

I have committed a crime called mindless eating.

I will have to do some intense jogging before bed.